I Didn’t Get to Say Goodbye
by Moonfairyhime
Summary: BookverseContains spoilers for those who haven't read the books In the end of Book III, Pippin left Merry without so much as a goodbye. Here are Pippin's and Merry's thoughts on what occured. No slash. Please read and review!
1. Pippin's Thoughts

Hello! I must confess that this is my first (or second if you consider my work on "Elf at Hogwarts") Lord of the Rings fic (please don't hit the back button), and I became hooked on Lord of the Rings through the films. No, not because of Elijah or Orlando, but because of Billy Boyd.   
  
Anyhow, I had just finished reading book three when this little ficlet came to me. This is definitely book-verse; it takes place after Pippin and Gandalf ride off towards Minas Tirith. Now, I know I'll be flamed for calling the palantír a 'stone', but that's what Pippin calls it in book three. I haven't gotten any further in Lord of the Rings than book three.   
  
"You do what you gotta do, you know what you know. You hang on 'til you can't hang on, and then you learn to let go. You get what you want sometimes, but when it's all said and done, you do what you gotta go and let that pony run." Pam Tillis, "Let That Pony Run"  
  
I don't own Lord of the Rings.   
  
In Pippin's point of view.   
  
"I Didn't Get to Say Goodbye"  
  
~~  
  
I never thought that my curious nature would get me into so much trouble. Mama and Daddy always smiled at me, but they never scolded me. I would ask Merry and Frodo question after question when I was younger, and they'd always laugh at me, but they'd answer my every question.  
  
When I first picked up the stone, I felt drawn to it. But Gandalf asked for it, and I gave it to him. I knew, in my hearts of hearts, that it didn't belong to me. But something in me wanted to see it. The stone was a perfect sphere and I had never fathomed that something could be so black and so perfect. It called to me, it wanted me. I had to answer the call.  
  
Merry just wanted to sleep, and maybe I should have lain down next to him and slept, also. But there was something in me that needed to see the stone once more. I didn't think that any harm would have come to me if I looked into it one more time.   
  
I, as I have often been accused of being, am a hasty hobbit. I'm young and I like to act first and think later. It's also in my nature as a Took to be very curious. I should have realized that I shouldn't have touched the stone and I should have just gone to sleep like Merry had told. Only I didn't listen to Merry. I had often ignored Merry's almost sage-like advice when we were younger. The most I ever got from ignoring it was a broken arm. I didn't know that not listening to it this time would lead to us being separated.   
  
Merry always had looked out for me when I was little. Many people would often question him why he chose to be around someone that was eight years younger than him, but he would smile and just say, "Pip is my baby." I was his younger cousin, and he had every right to spoil me in every way he could imagine. And he often did just that. I was the beloved Thain's son, and even though everyone spoiled me, Merry did it the most. He would often come to the smials to just be around me. To take me on adventures. We would go to Bag End and visit Frodo and Bilbo. Wherever we were though, Merry would look out for me. Not because I was the Thain's only son and heir, but because I was his little cousin Pip and he loved me.   
  
Throughout my childhood, almost all of memories seem to involve Merry somehow. Even on the Quest we stayed together. We protected each other. Even though I had many, many cousins, I knew that Merry was my one constant in life.   
  
But after I touched that stone, Gandalf took me away from Merry. He took me away from the one thing that kept me centered. If I had known that touching that stone would have caused Merry and me to be separated, I would have left it in the water that Wormtongue threw it into.   
  
When I left to go on this Quest with Frodo, I had only left my parents a note. I promised them that I'd be fine, that Merry would be looking out for me. I knew in my heart that I had said goodbye to my parents.  
  
I didn't get to say goodbye to Merry.   
  
~~  
  
I hoped you liked it!  
  
Please review!  
  
Peace, Love, and the Moon!  
  
Moonfairy2000 


	2. Merry's Thoughts

I didn't plan on making a sequel to "I Didn't Get to Say Goodbye", but Merry's thoughts kept swimming in my head. So, I did a little ficlet on Merry's thoughts.  
  
Quote of the Fic: "I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." Jimmy Dean  
  
I don't own Lord of the Rings.  
  
This time, it's Merry's point of view.  
  
"I Didn't Get to Say Goodbye"  
  
~~  
  
When I woke up, the first thing that occurred to me was Pippin was gone. When I looked around camp, I noticed that Gandalf was gone also. When Aragorn told me what had happened, I acted nonchalant. But my heart was beating so fast inside my chest. My little cousin was gone and I couldn't watch him anymore.   
  
I never blamed Pippin for being a curious hobbit. He is a Took, after all. But if I had known that touching that stone would take Pip away from me, I would have wrestled Pip to the ground and tied him there. Then he wouldn't have been taken away from me. He would awake by my side and everything would be okay.  
  
I shouldn't have agreed to let Pip come with us. I know that my uncle and aunt wouldn't approve of it. But Pippin, in a way that only Pippin could, begged and pleaded with me. He pouted. I had told him no. But when he stood there, as tall and proud as can be, glared at me, and pointed out every reason why he should come, I knew that I wasn't looking at my little cousin anymore, I was looking at Peregrin Took, the next Thain of the Shire. I did what I had to do; I gave him my permission to come.  
  
I knew that I had to keep an eye on Pip. Uncle Paladin and Aunt Eglantine would never forgive me if anything should happen to him. I had always watched out for Pippin when we were younger, and they trusted their only son in my care. I couldn't let them down, because if I let them down, I failed. I made a promise to myself many, many years ago that concerned Pippin's well-being.   
  
I had waited years for a little boy to be born, and when Pip was born, I knew that my years of praying and being patient had paid off. I knew that I would teach him everything that a young hobbit-lad had to know. He was a willing student, always curious and ready to learn. Sweet-tempered but very mischievous and extremely curious, every second I spent with him when we were younger was an adventure. I promised myself that I would take care of Pippin and teach him everything I thought he needed to know.   
  
I think that some hobbits were bothered my almost intense concentration on my younger cousin, as I was, and still am, eight years his senior. But Pip was my baby, the cousin I had waited almost forever for. In my mind, I had every right to spoil him and baby him.   
  
One winter, when Pippin was ten, he became deathly ill. For almost three weeks, he lay sick. Everyone in the Smials was ready for the worst. But when Pip made a full-recovery, I made another promise to myself that I would let nothing happen to him. That I would keep an eye on my younger cousin to make sure he never got that sick again.  
  
The only thing is, I don't know if I'll ever see him again. I don't know if I can keep that promise to myself.   
  
Every time Pip would visit Buckland, and every time I would visit the Smials, he and I made a great show out of saying goodbye to each other. We knew we'd see each other in a month or two. We knew, that by saying goodbye, the next time we saw each other it'd be as sweet as the parting. We knew we'd see each other again. And if, for some reason, we never saw one another again, we had said our goodbyes.   
  
I didn't get to say goodbye to Pippin.  
  
~~  
  
You like?  
  
Please, please review!  
  
Peace, Love, and the Moon!  
  
Moonfairy2000 


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